Delighful Reflections: Quips, Conjectures, and Pontifications is now available

My new book Delightful Reflections:  Quips, Conjectures, and Pontifications (ISBN-13:  9780615561981) is now available from Amazon.com and CreateSpace.com .

The following are a few "samplers:"

• Any residents of Washington, B.C. were most likely Native Americans.
• Proof found outside the pudding is likely to be much less messy.
• A minister suffering from laryngitis is in a poor condition to preach to the choir.
• The right to use bullet points may be guaranteed by both the First and Second amendments.
• Someone singing "Do Cry for Me, Argentina" is likely rather self-centered.
• Granting a child's Christmas wish for a hippopotamus would, under most circumstances, be somewhat unkind to his or her parents.
• Morally marginal individuals ought to be aware that what happens in Vegas may stay on Facebook and Youtube for a long time!
• One would hope that a piece of textile with the message that "Dog food is delicious" is a dog coat.
• It is mean for parents not to allow their children to clean their rooms.
• It is really sad to hear one elementary school student bragging to another that "My funeral is going to be bigger than your funeral!"
• Authors who are afraid of the dark should refrain from hiring ghostwriters.
• One rarely ever hears any objection being expressed to the comparison of pears and grapefruits.
• If Lynn Anderson suddenly has a memory of this, the decent thing to do is to record "I DID Promise You a Rose Garden."
• If it does not look like a Dachshund, does not walk like a Dachshund, and does not bark like a
• Dachshund, it might be considered deceptive to list it on Craigslist as a Dachshund without disclosing these material facts.
• A nun who wakes up the whole neighborhood while beating up a fellow nun for disturbing the peace needs a serious talk by the mother superior about goal displacement and constructive ways to deal with problem co-workers.
• There does not appear to be any support in respected, peer reviewed journals for the hypothesis that a pear a day keeps the dentist away.
• Cain may have been the first communist.
• To minimize the risk of injury, it might be helpful to move one's tongue before turning the other cheek.
• When in Rome, one should try to make a profit on the Romans.
• It would have been nice if Carly could have clarified whether, if attending a party on a yacht, one should walk aboard as if walking into a party or as if walking onto a yacht.
• Few people seen to question the authenticity of Bruce Springsteen's birth certificate.
• If it quacks, but not like a duck, one might well be confused.