Monday, November 14, 2011

Delighful Reflections: Quips, Conjectures, and Pontifications is now available

My new book Delightful Reflections:  Quips, Conjectures, and Pontifications (ISBN-13:  9780615561981) is now available from and .

The following are a few "samplers:"

  • Any residents of Washington, B.C. were most likely Native Americans.
  • Proof found outside the pudding is likely to be much less messy.
  • A minister suffering from laryngitis is in a poor condition to preach to the choir.
  • The right to use bullet points may be guaranteed by both the First and Second amendments.
  • Someone singing "Do Cry for Me, Argentina" is likely rather self-centered.
  • Granting a child's Christmas wish for a hippopotamus would, under most circumstances, be somewhat unkind to his or her parents.
  • Morally marginal individuals ought to be aware that what happens in Vegas may stay on Facebook and Youtube for a long time!
  • One would hope that a piece of textile with the message that "Dog food is delicious" is a dog coat.
  • It is mean for parents not to allow their children to clean their rooms.
  • It is really sad to hear one elementary school student bragging to another that "My funeral is going to be bigger than your funeral!"
  • Authors who are afraid of the dark should refrain from hiring ghostwriters.
  • One rarely ever hears any objection being expressed to the comparison of pears and grapefruits.
  • If Lynn Anderson suddenly has a memory of this, the decent thing to do is to record "I DID Promise You a Rose Garden."
  • If it does not look like a Dachshund, does not walk like a Dachshund, and does not bark like a
  • Dachshund, it might be considered deceptive to list it on Craigslist as a Dachshund without disclosing these material facts.
  • A nun who wakes up the whole neighborhood while beating up a fellow nun for disturbing the peace needs a serious talk by the mother superior about goal displacement and constructive ways to deal with problem co-workers.
  • There does not appear to be any support in respected, peer reviewed journals for the hypothesis that a pear a day keeps the dentist away.
  • Cain may have been the first communist.
  • To minimize the risk of injury, it might be helpful to move one's tongue before turning the other cheek.
  • When in Rome, one should try to make a profit on the Romans.
  • It would have been nice if Carly could have clarified whether, if attending a party on a yacht, one should walk aboard as if walking into a party or as if walking onto a yacht.
  • Few people seen to question the authenticity of Bruce Springsteen's birth certificate.
  • If it quacks, but not like a duck, one might well be confused.